I hate birthdays, especially my own

Every year when my birthday rolls around I cringe, knowing that it will be yet another day filled with disappointment. I don’t know precisely when this began, but I’m thinking it must have been around the birth of my first child. Parent birthdays definitely take a backseat to the kidlet’s. In my case, I think it’s because by the time it’s my birthday I’m out of enthusiasm and money – but that doesn’t stop me from having high expectations.

Last year was the worst. I went through the entire day and no one outside of my family even said “happy birthday.” In fact, I don’t even think my dad remembered to call me. In the case of my friends I realized it was because none of them had known me for very long — only four or five years — and how could they wish me a happy birthday if they didn’t even know when it was?

So this year I vowed not to fall into pathetic self-pity. When the big day arrived and I was out with my friends I waited to hear the magic words. When they didn’t come I finally burst out “It’s my birthday today,” and beamed. They turned and looked at me and said, with genuine smiles on their faces, “oh, happy birthday,” and then went back to their regularly scheduled programming. I waited for the warm glow to spread through me, but it never came. In fact, I sat there with a bit of an empty feeling and thought, “well that wasn’t any good.”

The next day, as I was still puzzling over yet another lacklustre birthday, one of my oldest friends called to wish me a belated birthday. She asked how it had gone and I gave her a non-commital answer. She said, “you mean a helicopter didn’t swoop down and whisk you off to a tropical island for a week’s holiday?”

That was it! That was what I’d been hoping for! It was the adult equivalent to the fanfare we experience as a kid…only a teensy bit more expensive and complicated to organize.

I said, “No. Can you believe it?”

“Yeah. Birthdays aren’t what they used to be are they?”

 At least, however, I now knew the root of my dissatisfaction. Maybe next year it won’t bother me so much….or maybe that helicopter will come down and take me away. Hey, I can dream can’t I?

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58 Responses to “I hate birthdays, especially my own”

  1. Johnny Fish Says:

    Found this entry after googling the term “I hate birthdays”. Mine always disappoints me too. I cannot stand people fussing about me, doing what they think I should want, or more frequently what they want me to want, while the whole time ignoring what it is that I actually want.

  2. amber grace Says:

    I enjoyed reading this blog although I don’t have children, it seems everyone forgot my birthday this year, and what’s worst is I’m only 19. I spent the entire day by myself, and only got a card from my parents when I asked them if we were going out for my annual birthday dinner.. My best friends who know me better than anyone, and who have known me for years and years didn’t even message me. I’ve never forgotten their birthdays and can’t believe they forgot mine. I hated today, it was the worst day of my life…

  3. Emily R. Says:

    Today is my birthday and i’m only 19 too. I haven’t had a good, let alone decent, birthday for as long as I can remember. Birthdays just remind you of how little people seem to notice and care. Not so much fun..

  4. Laura R. Says:

    I have to say that my birthday is today oct 5th and I too just turned 19..wow 19 must be the crappy year to turn cuz so far it sucks and its an extreme disappoint me..its funny how all of us google “i hate birthdays” trying to see if other ppl feel the same as we do..guess we arent as alone as we thought we were

  5. dumbworldorder Says:

    yesterday was my birthday– probably the least fanfare ever. it is funny because I wanted it that way- but when it was over I was dissapointed because as you would put it a helicopter didn’t swoop me off. be careful what you ask for.

    and to Emily R. above- you are 19– you have your whole life ahead of you- you are the only one that can change that

  6. BJM Says:

    i’ve never really had great birthdays, i had a hard life growing up . But 18 was a crappy year .. not just the birthday the entire year & today is my 19th birthday. I’ve been exciting myself all month, but here it is & i’m more depressed then anything . I feel like i have nothing to look forward to, i haven’t accomplished anything, i just feel worthless . And now i have to pretend to be happy and i hate it .

    i guess i shouldnt feel so bad, seems like 19 is a shitty year .

  7. Lauren Says:

    19 is a terrible year. that is just all there is.

  8. Janet Says:

    people just disappoint me all around. im done setting expectations for people so i focus on new friends i’ve made and make plans of my own and try to think of it on the bright side, its better than nothing. when we were little things were diff, friends were really into decorating your locker in middle school but now that we’re getting older (finishing up college) people’s schedules differ immensely. i dont want to plan my bday but i should think of it as, ‘hey, im getting some people together it’d be great to have you.”

    -bit of advice
    i’ll be 23 tomorrow haha

  9. Troy Says:

    I’m just turned 14 today. And yet it’s the same way for me. But it’s not the fact that I didn’t get anything I wanted. But it seemed my parents didnt even care! It’s halfway through the day and they haven’t even mentioned it. It’s pissing me off while all my other friends parents hug, and kiss them, and just buy them iPods, and laptops, and cell phones. It makes me sad.

  10. joe Says:

    uhh my bday is on christmas eve i will turn 14 but i overheard my mom and they are setting up the party while im typing this. ughhhhhhhh i hate it when people sing happy birthday…oh wait they’re calling me….

  11. Guadalupe B. Says:

    Well, you should be happy that some cares…

  12. Phumie Says:

    2days my birthday!and it sucks im 22 and my mother hasnt remembered my birthday for about 7years,no one gets me anything…EVA its always a horrible day for me and i HATE IT!!!

  13. ema Says:

    Haha this is funny. It’s actually my 19th birthday today and I feel the same as everyone mentioned above; its a shitty day. I was very excited all month, counting down the days on my facebook. However when the day came around it was/is shit. My parents didn’t know what to get me, so gave me money! $300. however I feel like they didn’t really bother to think about what I might actually want. When I was little, I had a party every year and I think that’s what’s missing, no-one is excited for me because I am not hosting a party for them to attend so they have no reason to be happy for me. Also every facebook contact I have, I always write on their wall when it’s their birthday, whether or not I’m friends with them, hoping they will do the same. So far it’s 12.10pm and I only have to comments despite the fact that I wrote as my status that’s it’s my birthday. So that’s really pissing me off because they can see its my birthday and are not bothering to care. Furthermore, I have to work today at the hellish place that is kmart, on registers and serve stupid people who are rude. Happy 19th to me! NOt!

  14. Katrina Says:

    HAHA.. It makes me feel better reading this. Tomorrow is my 19th birthday as well (crazy, we 19 year olds seemed to get screwed over eh?)
    Anyways.. today is my birthday party.. I invited 22 PEOPLE.. 22 FREAKING PEOPLE.. Wanna know how many are coming? My bestfriend, my SOMEWHAT FRIEND.. and HER BOYFRIEND WHO I DONT KNOW.
    So a total of 3 people, one of them being a boyfriend of an invited guest.
    What happened to ‘these are the years of your life’ where you and your friends party hard, go out, have a blast. ..
    I got the lame excuse from everyone “Im working” or ‘im to broke”
    Well im sorry that I only gave you 3 WEEKS to take the night off, or 3 WEEKS to save up 10 dollars to go to the restarunt.
    The sad part is, is that Im a huge birthday fan. I go to everyone of their birthdays, I spend hours finidng the perfect gift/card. If they are my close friends, I have spent weeks planning their birthday parties… and yet no one can show up to MINE. I wanna be in the spotlight for once.
    Ugh. Yay 19! – cries -

  15. Kevin Says:

    I agree, I hate birthdays too… but for a different reason. I’m 22 as of today, but every time my birthday rolls around I feel more annoyed than any other day of the year. Thanks to Facebook, people I barely know destroy my wall with “hAppY bIrthDaY!!!1!1!!” messages. Long-distance relatives are similar, calling you and making agonizing small talk even though they never attempt to contact you any other time of the year. Then you have the constant “it’s the birthday boy” nonsense from anyone you run into, along with that one person that insists on throwing you a party regardless of whether you told them not to. And when the singing starts… well it just almost drives me to madness. What makes all this worse is the fact that you’re obligated to say “thanks” even though you’d much rather judo-chop everyone in the room. These people may be putting you through psychological hell, but they have the best intentions, so it would be just rude to scold them for bombarding you with unwanted attention. For me, it’s the only day of the year that makes me wish I were far, far away from everyone. When you think about it, the whole concept of the birthday is stupid… many years ago this day, I was popped out of a vagina. WHOOP-DE-DOO! I had no control over the event, so why are we making such a fuss over a highly common and unimpressive biological process? If I’m to be celebrated, i’d much rather it be due to something amazing I’ve accomplished. Until then, you can keep your “birthday wishes” to yourself. Of course… I could never tell that to the people who need to hear it… ugh, what a prison. : \ Can’t wait ’til it isn’t my birthday anymore!

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  17. Chazzie Says:

    I hate birthdays. :( I hate the attention. It’s my 18th in a few days and everyone is bugging me to go out clubbing etc etc. I DON’T WANT TO GO. People don’t understand. D:

  18. Mas Says:

    I detest birthdays. I can relate to the feeling of wanting someone to ‘swoop you away in a helicopter’.

    I just want each birthday each year to quickly pass without fanfare.

    The ones that should appreciate never does anyway. Birthdays are overated.

    Can’t wait for 364 days of non birthday days.

  19. Hyokano Says:

    I was having a conversation about birthdays today and it made me depressed. I don’t even really know why I get depressed about it because I never celebrated my birthday outside my immediate family (which is just my Mom and/or Dad) until last year. In elementary school, it was for religious reasons. In high school, it was because I lived in Japan, and guys don’t really celebrate their birthdays there. Having grown up with everyday-American values through all those movies and TV-sitcoms though, I always hoped that something might happen. Never did.

    My 21st birthday was THE WORST. I live in Hawaii, and two of my closer friends were on the mainland at the time. My parents were both in California. I had a report due the next day for school so I worked on it to keep myself distracted, until I finally got a call from two acquaintances who took me out to a modest bar. I really appreciated the effort, but I couldn’t help but feel that it was done out of pity. My first legal drink was a pity bud-light.

    I really, really, really hate my own birthday. Thinking about it makes me queasy, because deep-down inside I really want to party the night away, to make up for all these years. I really hate the woe-is-me mentality, but self-pity is one thing that I would like to have for my birthday if not anything else. Incidentally, today is my friend’s 22nd birthday. I hope she had fun.

  20. Julia Says:

    It was my birthday today, just painful. I hate birthdays.

  21. Rams Says:

    I have a case of the 19 birthday blues.

  22. another_somebody Says:

    I get embarassed when people give me gifts.. i f*ckin hate birthdays.. I’m 20

  23. Alex Says:

    i HATE BIRTHDAYS! you know that friend that makes you cookies, comforts you when your sad, helps you out when u need somethin? well that me. and when my birthday comes around no one does shit! i would rather ignore my birthday then have 3 of my selfish friends come over and steal the attention away from my day. my one fucking day of the year where no one can tell me what to do or what to say. i hate birthdays, i hate boys, i hate schoo dances, i hate going out with friends that are prettyeir then me because they get all the boys so wats the point of me getting ready, i hate school. life is soooo predicatable all that event shit is even halloween wats the point?! i turn 18 in 2 months and my mom wants to through me a tea party w “only 5 of your closest friends and their mothers” hmm fun! except i hate my friends cuz their fucking fake ass attention whores!

  24. Patrick Says:

    The real fact is there is no meaning to birthdays.

    It should be about the person who’s birthday it is, but inevitably it ends up being the day where everyone around the birthday person likes to feel better by giving gifts that they sought. Now if you receive a voucher, tell them to stick it where the sun don’t shine! Where’s the effort?

    I have never had a good birthday since my 14th. I went out on a pub crawl (yes I was too young! but hey!) and then to a club. It was brilliant. And the reason i hear you ask (well maybe not, but I’m still gonna explain)? NO EXPECTATIONS!

    In the format they are currently in, we know exactly to the day when to expect these lavish gifts. Now thats no fun. When things are expected, and don’t meet the last years performance, we are all too unhappy about the situation. It seems to breed the spoilt brat we have in our society today (I know because it made me one too!).

    My proposal would be to disregard birthdays all together, and hold a month either side, on which the family around you can surprise you on any of those days. You never know when it’ll happen, therefore you can’t build yourself up for a big fall.

    I don’t know about you, but I hate the presents I am bought, because this is what the person thinks I want! No… no socks please. The first on my list was world peace! If they can’t do that, then give the money to a charity that can/will try!

    Well thats my rant over with.

    Hope you all have a nice day!

  25. Josesito Says:

    Hahaha! this is beautiful! im 19 today! and i googled “i hate bithdays”, seriously this is a good read because now i don’t feel alone in this :p, everyone thinks im a weirdo just because i don’t like celebrating my birthday. THANKS FOR THIS!!!

  26. Spike Says:

    Kevin: “you run into, along with that one person that insists on throwing you a party regardless of whether you told them not to. And when the singing starts… well it just almost drives me to madness. What makes all this worse is the fact that you’re obligated to say “thanks” even though you’d much rather judo-chop everyone in the room. These people may be putting you through psychological hell, but they have the best intentions, so it would be just rude to scold them for bombarding you with unwanted attention. For me, it’s the only day of the year that makes me wish I were far, far away from everyone. When you think about it, the whole concept of the birthday is stupid… many years ago this day, I was popped out of a vagina. WHOOP-DE-DOO! I had no control over the event, so why are we making such a fuss over a highly common and unimpressive biological process? If I’m to be celebrated, i’d much rather it be due to something amazing I’ve accomplished. Until then, you can keep your “birthday wishes” to yourself. Of course… I could never tell that to the people who need to hear it… ugh, what a prison. : \ Can’t wait ’til it isn’t my birthday anymore!”

    AHAHA yes brother, you speak my heart. I never figured why we makes such a big fuss over birthdays. Whee, I’m one year closer to death, one less year of life!! WHOO! No. Well, I guess its better to be optimistic and make the best out of it rather than moping around and wasting more of your life. Its just the optimistic “ignorance is bliss” group versus the pessimistic cynics, myself being the latter. I like experimenting with my birthdays though, just to see how people react to them and why. I’ve tried being completely silent and once challenged myself to go through a whole birthday without anyone saying “happy birthday” to me. Unfortunately, this one girl ruined it, though I don’t mean anything negative. She actually just had a habit of keeping up with the birthdays of people around her; I would imagine she would be pretty disappointed like some of you here if she had a sub-par birthday. It’s all just interesting to me how such a tradition came to be in societies across the globe. Any theories anyone?

    • s Says:

      “…If I’m to be celebrated, i’d much rather it be due to something amazing I’ve accomplished…”

      Spike, if you are still pondering, the ancient Chinese custom might interest you. The mortality rate in ancient time was very high, rarely any Chinese lived passed 50. The whole village would come together to celebrate a senior’s 10th birthday from the 50th up (60th, 70th, 80..). It was an elaborate celebration for an unusual accomplishment.

      However, the rest of the birthday celebrations were kept extremely low key because people worried that any extravagance might draw unwanted attention to jealous gods and warrant for an early death. The only celebration was hinted in a bowl of noodle soup and approving smiles received from the seniors. It was considered good omen when a very long strand of noodle was pulled up and swallowed whole because the long length and the wholeness were symbols for longevity and continuity.

      Another interesting custom was that birthdays were Mother’s Days! Chinese children would give solemn reflection on the most painful and risky day in their mother’s life because many mothers had died by giving births. Children would be on their best behaviors and performing rituals to thank their mothers. In the end, a mother with one child got to celebrate the Mother’s Day once each year, with two, twice, so on and so forth.

      Depends on the economy, religion, and philosophy held by each culture, birthdays are not all celebrated equally. You may fairly say that Americans do emphasize them heavily that so much so have become a source of stress, not joy. I have decided to treat everyday as a birthday. This way, it’s impossible to hold a big party with many presents. All I can do and all I want to do is to take a deep breath every morning to enjoy the wonderful gift of life, then say a prayer to invite the world to share it with me. I cannot be any happier with my birthday celebrations, however, there are still other people’s…

  27. Tom S. Says:

    Birthdays are depressing not to mention, slightly traumatic. Even as a child. I can recall in earlier years the feeling of rejection when not being invited to the “popular” kids’ birthdays. The trend even continues into teenage years. Besides, the social exclusions I still don’t care for birthdays. Even my own. All the attention is just too much for me. And let’s not forget the redundancy of every moron who finds out its your bday, wishing you a good one. Enough already. I don’t mind family and a few close friends saying it but, I don’t need to hear it from anyone who even remotely knows who I am. There’s no sincerity in that. That being said I go to great lengths to try and make sure no one knows its my birthday. However, there is this one girl, I know who every year always knows its my birthday, as well as the birthdays of several other of my friends. By the way, today was my 19th birthday (What’s with that? Looking at the other comments it seems be pretty common).

  28. Metti Says:

    I hate my life!Today is my 17th birthday and my parents are going to celebrate it.I hate it when they make such a big fuss about my birthday.All i want is a present and that is it.I mean i am not a kid anymore,all the decorations,cake,candles and happy birthday songs makes me feel angry.I don’t need all this crap.I wonder why they keep on doing this even after i told them that i don’t appreciate all their work,just to make them give up with all this insanity!So today i am gong to make this a birthday to remember.I have many plans to ruin it and crash it.Since i hate it when they sing happy birthday,i will blow the candles just when they are about to start.I hope they will learn a lesson and i hope i will have a simple birthday next year.

  29. Veronica Says:

    Ahahaa today is my 19th too. Not a big fan. I’ve tried to tell myself that I could care less about my birthday for the past week so I wouldn’t set myself up for disappointment, but here it is and I couldn’t be sadder. Sure, some people remember to wish you a happy birthday but it’s never how you want it to be. I never end up doing anything interesting on them anyway. Last year, I took a nap. This year, I plan on doing the same.

  30. joseph Says:

    same here its my birthday 19th and i still hate it maybe its because nobody has ever said happy birthday to me or never had an actual birthday in my life like im the outcast it just makes me feel like shit

  31. adam Says:

    My birthday is today. Its just another day. What gets me pissed though is that every says “have a fantastic day” or “have a good one” etc on FB and cards (none so far by the way, not even from the wife) and yet nothing ever happens. I dont want a party, presents, anything. I just want it to be another day and get on with it. 34 by the way, and in a bad mood so kids, if you think your 29th is crappy, add another 15 to the pot.

  32. Bekah Says:

    Today is my birthday and I’m 24. I got flowers from my bf and shoes from my lil sis but I still feel like crap. I was suppose to go to the movies but whats the point i’m just going to get depressed. On top of that its raining cats and dogs outside (i hate the rain)! Hopefully next year will be better but I know it won’t, every year I do the same thing no matter what I get who I spend it with I’m soo depressed. I guess I feel like i’m suppose to get some sparkly floating invitation to my own surprise bday party… like that will ever happen.

  33. Natasha Says:

    Well today is my birthday. I am usually very happy but not today. I turn 16 today and all I wanna do is cry. I tried to throw myself a party but no one came… all 20 of them just blew it off. My parents dont care. My mom is treating me like sh!t and my step dad is mad at me over something I didnt do. I hate my real dad and all he did was call me and say happy birthday. Nothing is going right! I feel like sh!t and I really just wanna hide under a rock with some pat boone records and cry.

  34. c.marie Says:

    My birthday hasn’t came yet, but i’ll be turning 16 at the end of this month. I too googled “I hate birthdays”. I’ve actually found help in this website, knowing i’m not alone. I’ve wanted to have a party since i’ll be 16, but I haven’t had a party in years! The last time i tried to have one, everyone who said they would come didn’t and i ended up only having like 3 people there out of 15-20 invited. That was 3 years ago. I gave up on parties.
    Everytime i try to talk to someone about what i want to do, it seems like i can’t get my ideas out or they won’t listen. It hasn’t even came yet and i’m already disappointed. I know how you all feel :/

  35. halld Says:

    I found this page when I googled “I hate birthdays” too. I have never enjoyed birthdays. I turned 40 yesterday and it was the worst. I don’t get the point of celebrating the day that you were born. The act of being born is not a personal accomplishment and the fact is, the day simply represents one year closer to death. I have never been able to identify with people who feel that a birthday is special and they deserve gifts and well wishes….It seems so foreign for someone to feel entitled to recognition for nothing more than breathing in and out!

  36. Katrina Says:

    My 25th birthday is in 1 hour. No plans…depressed and disappointed like every year on this fantastically lame day…however, I did get an invite tonite for a bday party in November for two of my friends…p.s. I have no bday party plans…what a great thing to receive basically on my “special” day!

  37. Atharv Joshi Says:

    Well Written and well said. I sometimes feel the same, and ask the question “Whats in a Birthday” to myself.

    Heres my answer: http://atharvjoshi.blogspot.com/2011/06/whats-in-birthday.html#axzz1PPZbxDhW

  38. mia Says:

    I hate birthdays too! I’m turning seventeen today and not one of my friends has wished me a happy birthday!

    I used to throw all of these elaborate parties when I was a kid and all my friends would come and we’d have such a good time, but then I got too old for the little kid parties and I stopped. The year that I stopped throwing the parties, I just turned 14, none of my friends wished me a happy birthday. I later went to a party of another of my friends and we were watching a Pg 13 movie and it was such a terrible movie that I joked about what movies are teaching kids these days. my friend told me “you would know, wouldn’t you? you’re still 13″ and when she realized that I was not 13 anymore she simply said, “oh” and didn’t even follow up with the assumed “happy belated birthday”.

    ever since then I never tell anyone when my birthday is. Since people don’t know, how could they possibly wish me a happy birthday?

    it’s easier than feeling hurt that people don’t remember

  39. feng Says:

    this site is real cool. i always knew there will be ppl thinking the same way as me but i really wanted to see such comments
    I always had bday with my aunts ( i dun like them ) and there’s nothing but them having fun instead of me, i didn’t had bday with frens except in my super young ages of 7 or 8 where my mum invite HER frens and THEIR children came over , i didn’t have bday with frens reason being : my bday is in december and by then there’s no school , so ppl wll be like forgetting since they don’t see me anyway, plus i am not those party girls so i always spend my bday alone in that apartment when my aunt were having fun ..
    This year dec i will have another bday party , but i’ve already planned what to do, i will imagine i have gotten on a plane and fly to somewhere for the whole month , and sorry i can’t attend the party , enjoy urself!

  40. Carolyn Lucille Lane Says:

    My birthday is tomorrow. I’ll be 17. To be honest I just wanna sleep right through it because it’s the worst day of the year. Maybe, hopefully, this year I won’t be disappointed, but the chances of that happening are very slim. Everybody says it’s your birthday, you get presents! But it’s not about getting presents, it’s about being thought about and cared for. It’s about feeling special and feeling like people are happy that you were actually born. Ughhhh.

  41. Jon Says:

    Hate birthdays. You get older every year after 20. You get abused as a child and as a teenager, or have your home works checked all night long by your parents. You have no life of your own until you hit at least 20. Then for the next 5 or 10 years you are hanging around and sleeping around usually underemployed being used sexually by older women and being popular among people that are older than yourself calling you “boy” and “baby” etc. and you keep on searching for your favourite career. Nearing 30 you find it, then life begins. You spend the next 20 years doing something that you probably like, then shit hits the fan or if you are lucky you work for another 20-30 years and die.

  42. Sarah Wang (@chiyo_chan) Says:

    ahhaah wow today is my 19th birthday too. and i feel like crap. but i’ve always resolved in my mind to not care for birthdays since i was in the 6th grade. people who i actually want to wish me a happy birthday dont and the people who do…i don’t really care about. i’m always disappointed, so whenever its a friend’s birthday, i always try and make it extra special for then…but of course i expect the same treatment as i give to others….BIG MISTAKE. disappointment every freaking year.

  43. loser Says:

    i guess every1 has there dissopontments i turned 14 today and it sucked even more then last year
    i guess when you grow up no one cares anymore
    the good news is i now know to set lower standards then i normally have

  44. Riley Says:

    yup 2 day is my bday too and all of my 30 friends knew and only 2 wished me happy birthday, even my frieken girlfriend forgot. plus i only got $100 dollars in birthday presents. basically it’s the same as everyone else a crappy birthday. (ps i am thirteen)

  45. kaykay Says:

    wow 2012 and i turn 19 on feb 14 valentines day….. ugh i hate birthdays. I’ve never had a good one and this year it falls on a tuesday…. everyone works and has dates. the week after my sister is taking me to the zoo because thats what she wants. after off tooo my boyfriends parents to party because thats what he wants fml.
    what about what i want? the day should be about me!!!

  46. robin cole Says:

    Well, yipee aint I the ‘happy one’ its my birthday today. I’m living in a place I hate. I’m unemployed and no money. Depression have rendered me a virtual recluce. So, no cards, no happy birthday wishes nothing today.

  47. Relavelly Macanico Says:

    lol this site is great! its my birthday today…and I’ve always seriously resented birthdays. for one, its on april fools. i got teased like crazy as a child about that. and i feel bad because my mom feels bad that she had me that day (at 3am, infact, she pleaded with the doctors to write down i wasn’t born april 1)
    for my 19th, i got too drunk and had to leave early
    and for this birthday i had to study for an exam. but i did have a little celebration last night and went to a game today which was fun
    but seriously i hate birthdays. so much pressure. it makes me remember to cherish the average days, where everyone is equals. i also hate when people are too happy about their own bdays and gloat. ughhhhhh hate birthdays. and as everyone said above, those dreaded phone calls with extended family. like just send me a damn email and be done with it. birthdays are majorly over rated
    signed, a 20 year old

  48. birthday hater Says:

    its my 19th birthday to but its not the first crappy birthday i had. my mom stopped giving me birthday parties after i was 10 and my father has never acknowledged my birthday. my 10th birthday which was my last birthday party was the worst since i had set high expectations and wanted as many people as possible that was a mistake never should have invited my cousins because they left me out (like usual) and i ended up sitting in my brothers room all alone playing xbox. my 18th also sucked because i am a loner and no one at school knew it was my birthday and i had to sit all alone. my mother didn’t even say happy birthday to me before i left for school, she doesn’t even wrap my present and she gives it to me before my birthday. this year she doesn’t even have my present yet she forgot to get it because her mind was on my brothers wedding. i also know exactly what i get because i have to pick it out because she doesn’t know me well enough to know what to get me. i wish i could just sleep through this day as if it doesn’t exist. like someone already said birthdays are just a reminder that people don’t care or notice you and it really hurts when those people are your family

  49. Vishal Sathyan Says:

    I can’t now sing ‘Happy Birthday’ song, but I’m not mute. I was born on 17th October 1995 at Thrissur, Kerala, India, that means now I’m 16 1/2 years old. So, I have only a request for my relatives not to sing Happy Birthday song from my 17th birthday, which falls in the coming October.

  50. Aly Says:

    i turned 19 today too! i honestly feel better reading this knowing that i’m not alone in parents forgetting and failed expectations. My family isn’t big on celebrations so I wasn’t expecting anything but I found out my mom was planning to have a family dinner in the city and secretly invite my boyfriend. I was so encouraged knowing that my family did decide to plan something. My mom told me yesterday that they’re all too stressed and so we can’t do anything. So today I’ve been running errands for my family and talking with people who needed advice from me. What kills me is that I would have been okay with this is normally if there wasn’t an expectation set for me that was then taken away. I feel so selfish and petty to be disappointed today, but reading and writing makes me feel a little more normal. I feel guilty for not being happy and feel like I have to fake it. It just stinks to wake up with unrealistic expectations for the day when on any other day, you wouldn’t have had them.

    We don’t hate our birthdays. We love our birthdays. We hate that they never turn out the way we would want them to and end up feeling pressured, unloved, and disappointed.

    Here’s to next year!

  51. gs Says:

    Interesting to skim through these. Most, if not all, posts discuss hating their own birthday. While I hate birthdays, I hate them not because of my dissappointments. I am simply sick and tired of everyone else’s expectations about their birthday or how we should celebrate my kids’ birthdays.

    My father ranted and raved at me yesterday because I did not plan a party for my mother’s birthday and bring a cake to their house and have my kids sing happy birthday. What is she 6 years old?

    Birthdays are for kids and 21 yr olds, that is it. Forget my birthday, I don’t really care, and guess what I don’t care that it is your birthday either. If you care about your birthday then do something about it, don’t expect others to.

    How many freaking celebrations do we need anyways? Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentines day, sweetest day, july 4th, memorial day, labor day, anniversaries, fathers day, mothers day, my kids birthdays, my wife’s birthday, my mom’s, my dad’s, my sister’;s, my sister’s kids, my brother-in-law, my wife’s sister, my other brother in-law, my wife’s sister’s kids, my aunts, my uncles, my employees, my wife’s aunt, my wife’s uncles, my friend’s, my wife’s friends, my kids’ friends and mine, ..!!! JFC!!! Put those all together and you have a celebration every 3.8 days. Add on that I have 3 young kids who do sports and scouting and I can’t f’ing breathe on most days let alone celebrate your birthday.

    So back to my dad and me not planning a party for my mom. Why didn’t he get off his a s s and plan a party if it was that important. It is wife’s birthday. When did he ever plan my birthday party? Hell did he ever even sign a birthday card to me, no. Did he ever come to one of my soccer games, no, even when we went to state playoffs.

    Growing up my birthday parties always included the entire extended family and was celebrated with other people’s birthdays, too. My uncle has the same birthday as me, plus a cousin(or two) that are within a week, and a niece within 3 days. So those were really special, not. Lucky for me, I really didn’t care then and still don’t care. Can’t remember the last time we celebrated my birthday and I am perfectly fine with that.

    So my advice to all you expecting big things on your birthday… Don’t expect anyone else to make a big deal about your birthday, even if you make a big deal about others’ birthdays. Make it a big deal yourself and keep making a big deal about others’ birthdays.

  52. Sommer Says:

    I turned 16 today and I officially decided that birthdays suck. It’s not that everyone forgot about me I mean some people did but not all it’s just you have these expectations and in the end you get let down

  53. SAHM Says:

    I turned 49 this past week, and I still hate birthdays. Why can’t people understand that we don’t want to celebrate it? There’s just too many people to,please. The best birthday for me would be one where I could just runaway some where and be all by myself.

  54. Michelle Says:

    Wow I’m not the only one with a crappy 19th birthday. I kept reminding people all week that my birthday was coming and only my mom and my brother (unenthusiastically) told me happy birthday. I have given up on expecting gifts since every year is like this, so I ordered some stuff online and arranged for it to be delivered today. My best recent birthday was last year and I spent half the day at a hospital. The worst part is that I’m the one person in my family who goes out the way to make sure they have good birthdays, but they can’t even manage to hold back their rude comments on mine

  55. sanadana Says:

    I googled “I hate birthdays” cause mine is in a few days and I don’t know why it is so depressing for me. I really enjoyed the read. That was the best present ever and I think I’ll be okay this year just knowing that I’m not alone and that birthdays suck!!!

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